His pubic hair was longer than his dick
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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