Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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