Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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