Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
