smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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