i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
