Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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