I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
