Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
