Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
