BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
The police scanner is talking about you again....
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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