is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize