..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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