oh god the rape fog is back!
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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