Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
ugly people sure do ruin things
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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