In America we eat man semen.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
