why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize