I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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