Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
