he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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