My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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