just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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