I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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