filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Semen is not good for contacts.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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