Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
