It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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