Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
