Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
