So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
