i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
