FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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