I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize