and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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