Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
