so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
