She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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