god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Mom said you looked used
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
