Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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