tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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