She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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