grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
honey bunches of taint.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
