I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Just pee around me
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
