Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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