I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
