he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
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