haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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