I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
