it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
