And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Randomize
