And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
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