I feel like abortions should bother me more
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
MIDGETS
????
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
