my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize