fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Randomize
