i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
so let's talk penis.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize