well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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