He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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