Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
