I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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