You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I am midnight drunk by noon
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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